


chile anyways: hold on a damn minute

by ipullmilfs



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Cute, F/F, Sex, kinky af, mommy, okay so ash might taste milk i warned you bitches, zofia funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:14:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27015592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ipullmilfs/pseuds/ipullmilfs
Summary: hi in case we need to be clear :) this story is more for kicks and giggles than being seriousmira and ash are married, but their relationship is beginning to fail due to distrust and miscommunication. they can only hope they can mend it before something bad happens.
Relationships: elena/eliza, mira/ash
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	chile anyways: hold on a damn minute

**Author's Note:**

> just gonna be honest with you bitches there’s a point where ash tastes mira’s breast milk. um...so if you don’t like that, please don’t read. um...i do regret it. please don’t talk about it i will literally cri 👁👄👁

when the world crumbles down around you, you expect to turn to the person you love most. 

but what happens when they’re not there? 

that was the issue elena had been going through for about a four month period. she wanted to say things were okay, but they weren’t, and it seemed like they never would be again. 

after she gave birth to María, her and Eliza’s first born, things got dramatically tougher. she only did technical work for rainbow, rarely going on missions anymore. she was still heavily involved with the team and unit itself, but she no longer got to feel the sensation of holding the vector in her hands and doing something she loved. 

eliza on the other hand. it was almost as if they started sending her into the field more once maría had been born. she was there the first month their child had been born, but then the long disappearances started. 

it was tough on elena, could you only imagine? being left home trying to take care of a newborn baby. when eliza did come home, it wasn’t for long by far. the female spent almost all her time exclusively with maría, which elena couldn’t blame her wife for. she understood she was separated from their child, but what about the separation between her wife? 

elena felt it slipping more and more, week by week as eliza would be gone. when she came home, it was a small kiss on the head, a hug, and then she was off to see their baby. 

elena couldn’t decide if it was right of her to feel the way she did. she just wanted to lay there in eliza’s arms and be reminded of how much the redhead loved her. she wanted to feel safe again. 

even during the nights when her lover was home, it wasn’t the same. when it first began to happen, elena made the effort to snuggle up to eliza, to which the younger woman would pull her close and hold her tightly. but after more missions, elena felt the need from her partner fading. she supposed she could’ve tried to hold her, to press near, maybe that could’ve saved things in the future, but she didn’t. 

she would just lay there, staring at eliza who lay on her side turned away. that hurt more than anything. it made elena feel as if her wife didn’t want her anymore, and the sleeplessness began after that. 

it wouldn’t be enough to say she got little sleep, elena got practically no sleep. no matter how she turned, what she did, she’d lay there awake at night. the tears would form and she’d let them out silently, careful not to wake the child next to her. 

she loved maría, but there was something that just felt off. elena was depressed all the time, no matter when, no matter where, she just was. she knew it was an issue, one she remembered her abuela telling her about. elena’s own mother had suffered with postpartum depression, and things never seemed right with the woman after that according to her abuela. 

elena didn’t want that for herself, or her child, but things just piled on over and over. she felt the overwhelming sadness, and when she thought of eliza, it only got worse. she’d cry herself to sleep most of those nights, her body no longer able to stay awake anymore, and then she’d do it again over the course of a few days. 

it was the constant cycle, the build up, until it would all be released again. 

it was december, elena’s favorite time of the year to be exact. the snow had already nestled up on the roof and the ground, reminding the female that christmas was quickly approaching. eliza would be back the day after christmas, the best six could do according to the redhead. it made elena sad, but she didn’t mind. that was okay. she’d have their perfect christmas, even if it was a day late. 

eliza was currently gone in the middle east, handling terror attacks that were threatening the lives of innocent civilians. that was all elena knew as eliza branded the information confidential. although elena understood, she still remembered when they used to speak openly about such things. when they could confide in each other over tough work situations. 

what ever happened to trusting one another? 

——

eliza was stationed in georgia with agent taina, a close friend, and agent monika, not necessarily a friend, but certainly an ally. the triple threat was an interesting one, but they worked well together. 

they had been working tirelessly for a week and a half, gathering intel, stepping into firefights, doing just about everything they could to help the people, but it just never seemed to be enough. how do you allow a government to turn against its own people? to let them die so easily with no regards. 

eliza could’ve thought the same about her own country. 

regardless, it was tough, and it didn’t help that all eliza knew of home was reports from jordan. elena had stopped reaching out almost completely, to the point eliza wondered what her wife was thinking. didn’t she miss her? didn’t she worry for her? 

eliza knew she felt that way for the spaniard. jordan had informed her of current events every few days, and it made her face turn red when he heard her mentioning meghan getting friendly with elena. 

she knew she should’ve been happy that her wife was bonding with other Rainbow members, but something always put eliza off about meghan. maybe she was jealous, the way the blond woman could woo others with her physique and tattoos, something eliza knew elena had been caught staring at once or twice. 

she had never made an attempt to flirt with elena, but the more eliza thought about it, the more she realized there had been little comments. they were subtle, the glances, the grins. 

eliza could feel her heart pounding as she held the phone against her ear, eyes cast down to her lap. she played with the small keychain attached to her belt loop.

gold, it read madrid on it, a small model of the capital building that could be spun around. her tough fingers rolled it back and forth, frowning as jordan went on about how elena seemed disconnected from her work. 

she couldn’t pay attention too much though, remembering the two autumns ago when she had proposed to elena in her home city. the joy she had felt, the excitement for their future, it was all gone now. 

“i’m sorry jordan, what were you saying?” eliza asked hoarsely, looking away from the keychain and out over the massive desert. 

“elena, she just seems hard to get to. something is wrong, we can all tell, but we rarely see her enough to really say anything. meghan says she’s doing better since maría was born, smiles when they hang out, but that something is still off,” jordan spoke, eliza’s hand clasping over the keychain tightly. 

“what does she mean doing better since maría was born?” 

“eliza...do you not remember?” 

“what are you talking about?” 

“the, i mean i don’t want to say it but the depression. the sadness, she was incredibly hard to reach for those first few months. now, i mean i haven’t noticed a change but meghan says she seems happy when she’s around.” 

eliza’s throat felt dry and tight, refusing to let any air in as she closed her eyes. “no, elena was fine. she was fine,” eliza spoke. 

“eliza, no offense. but you haven’t been around, we see her more than you do. we can all tell something is-“ 

“don’t tell me another damn thing about my wife, jordan! i know her better than you!” eliza said angrily, brain struggling to process what he was saying. it couldn’t be true. elena was fine. 

there was a silence, only eliza’s deep breathing to be heard as she sighed. “jordan, i’m sorry. can i talk to her please? it’s a decent time there right? please jordan,” eliza spoke, voice softening. 

“she’s not here eliza.” 

“but it’s monday, she should be at work.” 

“i know, but she’s not here. this is what i was telling you. she’s disconnected, she doesn’t show sometimes. i don’t know what to tell you eliza, this is just how it is right now. if i were you, i’d come home.” 

“i can’t just leave jordan, we’re in the middle of something.” 

“i know, i know. obviously don’t abandon your post. but, all i’m saying is, maybe it’s time you start looking at grounded work here. you have a family now. you can’t be gone every few days, it’s not fair to them. we’re not as young as we used to be liz.” eliza didn’t respond to his words, thinking about what that would mean for her, for her family. she loved the thrill, the excitement of traveling and working, but to what expense? if what jordan was saying was right, elena wasn’t okay, and eliza knew that deep down. she had noticed. she couldn’t lie. the touches that didn’t linger, short and quick, the fact they couldn’t even look at each other anymore forehead more than a few seconds. when was even the last time they had made love, or taken a bath together? went on a walk through the woods? 

eliza’s brain struggled to form those memories, and at that point she knew her friend was right. “thank you jordan. i see what you mean...just, i’ll have to figure it out.” 

the two spoke their goodbyes before she hung up, looking up at the starry night sky. how she wished elena could’ve been there with her, gazing up at the cosmos. you could see far more from that specific spot than eliza had ever seen in her life. elena would’ve liked it. she always liked astronomy, seeing the beautiful stars. eliza missed when they were young, when things felt so much simpler. 

——-

“has emmanuelle said anything about elena?” eliza asked one morning, looking at taina over the table they were seated at. 

the brazilian quirked an eyebrow, looking at the american with distaste. “you’ve never asked me that before, what has you worried?” 

“i’m not worried. i’m just curious.” 

“maybe if you talked to your lover, it would not be such a question that needs to be asked.” 

“look not everyone calls their partner three times a day-“

“i care about her,” taina cut eliza off, earning a surprised look. eliza was never really talked down to, let alone cut off in such a way. it was different. “i call her because i love her, because i want to make sure she is okay every single day. it hurts to be away from her, doesn’t it feel the same for you? does it not pain you to be away from your child? away from your wife?” taina questioned. 

“when did you get so wise?” eliza responded, rolling her eyes as she looked away, taking a few sips of her coffee. 

“get so wise? you know eliza, you are so stuck up your ass sometimes you can’t even realize when your life is falling apart. elena is struggling, and i don’t even blame her,” taina hissed her words, eliza’s gaze growing angry as the brazilian stood up and looked to her friend. “and you know what monika and i heard? you could go home on christmas if you wanted to. you told six you want to stay. what’s with that cohen?”

eliza opened her mouth to speak, but she was at a loss for words and taina was already walking away. she sighed as she looked down at her food. maybe she should go home on christmas. elena would probably be overjoyed. she missed maría and her wife, and this would be their baby’s first christmas. even if she wouldn’t remember it, it was still special. 

the next few days were rough with taina after their conversation. their actions were not very friendly, only speaking when needed. it made eliza feel bad, although she was still upset for how taina had spoken to her. she loved elena like taina loved emmanuelle, didn’t she? why would that be doubted? she was crazy about elena. 

but yet it hadn’t been showing the last few months. she really needed to fix everything. she had to for her sake and her love’s. 

when christmas eve finally rolled around, eliza prepared her bags. taina watched her, curiously, interested in what was happening, yet said nothing. 

“you were right pereira,” eliza mentioned as she stood there, folding her shirts. 

“i know.” 

“hey, maybe if you hadn’t failed your psych evaluation, you could be a therapist or something,” eliza chuckled, to which taina almost laughed. her lips spread thin, begging to smile as she kept a straight face. 

“i’m proud of you, parceira,” taina said stoically, clapping her hand across the redhead’s shoulder. “she’ll be excited to see you, trust me.” 

eliza looked down as she finished placing her clothes in the bag. “i really hope so taina, i do. but anyways, what about you? are you returning to the base for christmas?” eliza asked as the other female shook her head. 

“no, emmanuelle and i are heading to paris. she’s excited to have me meet her family.” 

“you nervous?” 

“nervous? eh. scared? most definitely. i don’t know how they’ll react to a brazilian interrogator,” taina noted with a small smile. “it’s for emmanuelle though, i’m willing to learn the ways of the pichons.” 

“is that so?” 

“of course,” taina replied as the two women grabbed each other’s forearms in a standard military shake. “i hope everything goes okay, i love you eliza,” taina spoke as they shook hands, eventually embracing each other. “and i’m sorry for saying you had your head up your ass, but you needed a kick.” 

“i’m just gonna remember this when you have kids,” eliza laughed, the two women still hugging. when they let go, they smiled at each other. they really were the best of friends. 

“oh let’s not get ahead of ourselves eliza. but anyways, have a safe flight. i’ll see you soon,” taina spoke and began to walk away, waving to the other operator. 

eliza breathed deeply, smiling to herself as she nodded her head. “everything is gonna be fine,” she murmured to herself. 

——

“elena, dinner was delicious, thank you so much for having us,” tina grinned as elena waved her hand. 

“oh it’s nothing. i’m more than happy to have you all over. makes the holidays less lonely,” elena said as she looked around at tina, meghan, and azucena. 

it was christmas eve, just a day before the holiday she would be alone on. the snow was coming down, covering the world in a blanket of white. the fireplace was providing a toasty contrast to that however, and the brandy hot chocolate the girls had was enough to warm the throat. it was a nice time, but elena still missed eliza. it would be two days before she saw her. that was all elena could keep telling herself. 

“when is eliza coming back?” azucena asked curiously, looking across the table at her friend. 

“oh you know, day after christmas. not too far,” elena noted. 

“the day after christmas. strange given emmanuelle left today to be able to see taina tomorrow in paris for christmas. could eliza not get it off earlier?” meghan asked, blue eyes gazing at the spaniard woman. 

“i-i guess not,” elena murmured, looking towards a seat that was usually filled with her french friend. “well, should we watch a movie guys? play a game?” elena asked as tina and azucena looked at each other. 

“actually elena, i’m sorry but i need to go. my amá is expecting me to be home for christmas and i need to get going,” azucena said. 

“yeah, same here lena. but thank you so much for dinner and the night. it was really fun,” the canadian smiled as elena nodded her head, trying to hide her hurt. 

“oh of course. that’s not a bother at all. i hope you guys have a great holiday,” elena responded as she stood up, meeting them to exchange hugs and cheek kisses.

“gracias hermanita,” azucena said as she grabbed her coat and headed to the front door with tina. “adiós!” 

“bye!” elena responded, raising a hand as she watched the two leave. the spaniard felt a weight on her chest as she looked at the empty room, all except for meghan. the blond stood up, smiling softly, beginning to gather the plates and silverware. “you’re not going?” she asked quietly, approaching the tattooed woman who shook her head. 

“me? of course not,” she replied as elena placed her hand against meghan’s bicep.

“you don’t have to help clean up meghan, really.” 

“hey, i don’t mind. i like to help.” 

they gazed at each other for a moment, elena’s hand subconsciously holding on a bit tighter to meghan. she didn’t think twice about it, her body registering it as the same feeling when she touched eliza. right about now would be when the female would lean down closer and kiss the spaniard, and meghan seemed to be doing the same. elena blinked a few times, letting go and stepping back immediately. she lifted a hand, rubbing her forehead as she breathed deeply. 

“hey, are you okay?” meghan asked and elena nodded, clearing her throat as she went to the sink, beginning to wash the dishes that meghan brought over. elena’s body ached at the thought of eliza. why couldn’t she come back sooner? 

as if that would even change anything. 

elena directed her gaze to the dishes, not wanting to think about that. maybe things would be different when eliza came? maybe she would lift the brunette and kiss her, make her forget about their problems. 

if only it was that simple. she wanted it to be that simple. 

“whatcha thinking about?” meghan asked as elena mindlessly cleaned the dishes, setting them in the drying rack. eventually, they were all done, and she looked to the blond. 

“nothing much. i’m tired,” elena murmured as she began to leave the kitchen, meghan following behind her. the female had been over enough times that she felt comfortable walking around, knowing elena trusted her and wanted her to be there. they headed up the stairs, growing quiet when they went into elena’s bedroom where maría was sleeping. 

“do you want me to go now?” meghan asked with a raised eyebrow, careful of her voice’s volume. 

“no, you’re fine. do you want to watch a movie with me? i always watch it on christmas eve. it’s in spanish though,” elena noted as she sat down on her bed and meghan hopped on next to her. 

“yeah, sounds great,” meghan responded, not aware it was a tradition for elena and eliza. elena started it, getting comfortable next to meghan, ending up practically snuggled against her side. 

elena tried not to let it get to her. the feeling of toned muscles beneath her, arms that were wrapping around her. it felt so similar to eliza. it was the first time in a very long period where she actually felt safe. she felt like the redhead american was there with her, like she was holding her. 

it wasn’t eliza, but it felt so nice, so good, to the point elena let herself indulge in the feeling. she fell asleep quite quickly, compared to nights where she simply couldn’t reach that relaxation. 

meghan watched it happen, the way elena seemed to become much more calm. she didn’t seem as tense, and maybe, meghan actually liked the feeling of the female against her. she tried to stay awake. but she could feel her heartbeat thumping, right where elena’s head was positioned. it didn’t take long before she had soon fallen asleep also. 

——

the next morning, eliza arrived early in the day, already feeling the jet lag when she walked outside the base. it was just barely breaking dawn, much different compared to where she had been before. eliza yawned, leaving the base in an escort car that took her into the city. 

her stops were incredibly meticulous, remembering each and every thing that elena loved. first, the spanish carnations, then the swiss chocolates. eliza wanted to please her wife in every way and be there for her, not just then, but forever. she felt like she had let elena down and she wanted to fix it. 

eliza spent a solid hour in a jewelry store, eyes glued to a very beautiful gold rosary with a diamond in the center. something about it screamed elena, and she knew she had to give it to her lover. she purchased it, watching as the clerk wrapped it up with christmas paper. eliza smiled and took it, going on her way. finally, she would be going home. 

when she arrived, she didn’t even think to note the big truck in front of their house, assuming it was just a neighbors. she unlocked the front door, noticing how quiet it was. it was fairly early in the morning, but elena would still usually be up. it was strange, but eliza thought little of it, heading up the stairs. she walked down the hallway, smiling happily as she pushed the door open slowly. 

it was dark, her eyes taking a little time to adjust to the lighting, and then she saw not only elena, but meghan laying on their bed. eliza’s mouth gaped, brain going into shutdown as she froze, gifts slipping out of her hands and cluttering to the floor. the sound of the box the rosary was in was enough to wake everyone, including maría. 

meghan’s eyes shot open and she sat up, arms instinctively protecting elena as the spaniard slowly began to also wake up. the way meghan reacted, it made eliza’s blood boil as the two locked eyes. 

“whats- what’s going on?” elena questioned as she slowly turned around, eyes widening when she saw eliza. 

meghan was already climbing out of bed, anticipating the movements of eliza who was coming across the room for the blond woman. “what the hell are you doing here!” eliza nearly screamed, face red with anger as maría began to cry. 

“eliza calm down! it’s not what it-“ meghan began to try and explain, the redhead lunging for the female’s throat. 

elena stared in shock, immediately crawling over to the added baby bed that was attached to their own bed. she immediately grabbed maría, watching as meghan dodged eliza’s frustrated attempts to grab her. 

“eliza stop!” elena shouted when she saw eliza reaching behind her where her holstered gun was. the redhead stood still, hand placed too close to the firearm for comfort. she turned towards elena, gaze conveying way too many emotions at once. hurt, betrayal, anger, resentment. it was all there. 

“give me one good reason not to shoot her right now,” eliza spoke, voice harsh and cruel as she looked at her wife. 

“eliza please. meghan didn’t do anything. none of this is her fault. please, this is between us, not her. please cariña,” elena spoke, watching eliza’s expression soften at the nickname. she didn’t move, and meghan began to move to the door, looking at the two in a concerned manner. 

“elena, are you ok-“ she began to ask, but elena just raised a hand, holding maría in her other arm. the blond understood, disappearing down the stairs, the truck’s departure heard not too long after. the whole time, elena and eliza just stared at each other. 

“why, the fuck, was she in our bed, holding you?” eliza eventually said, voice cold as she stared at her wife. elena knew this wasn’t going to end well, but the fact eliza had acknowledged it as theirs, it was something. 

“we were watching a movie, we didn’t mean to fall asleep,” elena answered calmly, effectively calming down maría as she rocked her in her arms. 

eliza’s gaze dropped to their child before it returned to elena’s face. “she had her arms around you. you were cuddling each other! that’s not just falling asleep!” eliza noted as maría began to get fussy again, watching as elena sighed and adjusted the baby in her arms to hold her differently. 

“i- i don’t know what to say eliza. i’m sorry, i should’ve told her to go home. i didn’t think that would happen-“ 

“are you cheating on me?” 

“what? of course not. that’s ridiculous.” 

“i come in to you wrapped up with her and you don’t want to give me an explanation. what do you expect me to think?” now elena was starting to get heated, walking forward and pressing her finger against eliza’s collar. 

“you do not get to walk in here after being gone for weeks accusing me of cheating on you. meghan is a friend. a friend! and a good one eliza! she’s been here while you have been gone saving the pinche mundo!” elena exasperated, making eliza back down a bit when she was met with such ferocity. 

she had taken on the certain mood she got when dealing with insubordinates, the usual eliza. but when elena matched her mood, the woman couldn’t stand as strong. she looked down at her, growing silent. “what happened to us?” she eventually said, her voice very light and soft in contrast with how she usually spoke. 

“you. left.” elena responded, seeming just as mad even though eliza had calmed down. “when we had maría, you decided to take more missions than usual. you abandoned me, you abandoned our child.” 

hard brown eyes were staring into eliza’s as she frowned. “i know,” eliza spoke softly. “i’m sorry.” 

“this can’t be fixed with an apology.” 

they were just staring at each other, maría sleeping soundly against elena’s chest. her finger slowly drifted down eliza’s chest and she grabbed onto her arm. the same way she grabbed meghan, but this was eliza. this was her wife, and she felt different now that elena was touching her. the corse muscles flexing as eliza pressed her hand to elena’s hip. eliza began to lean down, closer and closer. “eliza,” elena hissed angrily, but then lips were pressing against hers in a kiss that wasn’t just a peck. 

elena had forgotten what it felt like. her eyes fell closed, and she kissed back slowly, savoring the feeling of eliza’s soft lips. god, had they really not kissed like this in that long? her tongue slipped in effortlessly, and elena tilted her head slightly, letting the kiss deepen. she could feel herself becoming tempted by her lover, and she pulled away, looking up at eliza. “no, you don’t get to do that. you don’t get to just come in here and threaten meghan and kiss me and expect things to go back to-“ 

“i requested a leadership position here. no more long trips in the field,” eliza cut her off, but elena didn’t seem pleased. 

“the damage has been done, this can’t just be fixed by you staying here,” elena told her. 

“i don’t know what you want from me then, elena.” they looked at each other before elena sighed, lifting her hand. she knitted her fingers at the base of eliza’s braid and pulled her head lower. she pressed her wife’s face to her shoulder, arm wrapping around her as she still held the sleeping baby. 

“i think we should go to therapy,” elena murmured as eliza held onto her, hiding her face in elena’s neck. 

“you’ve got to be kidding me...” eliza whispered, subconsciously rolling her eyes. the last thing she wanted was someone getting involved in their business. 

“i’m serious eliza. if you want to make this work, we need to seek outside counsel.” it took everything in eliza to agree after a moment, not liking how elena had made it sound as if she didn’t agree, they would be over. surely, that couldn’t be true. 

“alright, whatever you want,” eliza spoke as she lifted her head, seeing a more understanding elena after that moment. she didn’t look happy, but she certainly didn’t look as mad. maybe this could work. 

—- 

things felt more tense after eliza had returned. she had made the effort to be loving, showing it physically, reminding elena, but the spanish woman still hadn’t forgotten about how she was ready to unload her firearm on meghan. some days were better than others, but a few things still hadn’t changed. when they slept, eliza watched elena, trying to get close. the female would turn her back to her and hold maría, hurting and confusing eliza beyond belief. 

she really didn’t realize how much she missed the human contact. how much it bothered her. she loved elena, and she wanted to be snuggled up right there, face between her lovely br- hands, smiling at the woman, but that wasn’t allowed apparently. 

when the time arrived for them to begin therapy, eliza wasn’t sure what to expect, but it certainly was not zofia! 

/—

cold leather seats, separated from one another as a couch rested between them. a loveseat placed diagonal from them to make a square of seating options. the polish woman herself sat in the one loveseat, black nails tapping against the clipboard in her hand. 

the shades were drawn partially, allowing a bluish hue of light to enter through thin white drapes. the room felt pleasant enough, although eliza was still hesitant to what they were doing. 

a small rock fountain ran on the desk behind all the seats, catching eliza’s attention. her mind was preoccupied with concern and worry about being vulnerable, specifically in front of zofia. why were they seeing zofia out of all people? what was the point in it? 

“eliza, elena. have a seat anywhere,” zofia spoke softly, eliza still in her thoughts as she reached a hand out, feeling the back of the couch. she went around it, taking a seat in the left corner of it. surprisingly, she felt elena sit next to her, thighs and hips pressed together. her wife’s hand pressed to her thigh, as if she could tell her lover needed to be soothed. zofia looked at the two of them, scribbling something down immediately. 

“what are you writing?” eliza asked rudely, leaning forward as her brows furrowed. 

“eliza, i’d appreciate if you wouldn’t be so...hostile,” zofia noted as she crossed her legs and lifted her head, meeting the gaze of the redhead. 

“that’s agent cohen to you-“ 

“eliza.” elena spoke strictly, shaking her head as she lifted her hand, pressing it to eliza’s chest, pushing her back when she had leaned forward. 

“anyways, what i write here is simply what i observe-“ zofia began to explain what she was doing, met with eliza’s pressing questions. 

“what the fuck are you observing? we’re fine! things are fine!” eliza cut her off again. “and why the hell are we seeing you out of all people? do you even have a certification?” 

elena looked extremely distraught, more than embarrassed with how eliza was treating zofia. although she knew the women didn’t get on particularly well, she thought she would be professional at least. zofia’s look was unwavering, simply gazing at eliza with an expression of pity. 

“if that is your concern eliza, yes. i do have the qualifications to do this. i often offer counseling as a side job when rainbow isn’t active. but- i can tell that isn’t you’re true concern. i can already see that you are off put by being vulnerable with others, and you’re taking a rather defensive position over elena and yourself,” zofia noted. she scribbled on her notepad as elena glared at eliza, almost tempted to move away from the female. “your wife has asked you to come here in hopes of being open, and of being honest. if you hide your true feelings, and hers, we will get nowhere.” 

the two women watched each other, and elena may have had the thought of getting railed by both of them- but that was a thought for private therapy sessions. 

eliza leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. zofia glanced at the defensive position and sighed, nudging her glasses down the bridge of her nose. “can we try something? to make you more comfortable?” zofia asked as elena nodded, eliza briefly looking at her wife before she agreed. “elena stand up.” the spaniard did as told, eliza leaning forward slightly, hands instinctively almost reaching out as zofia nodded, writing something down. “okay, elena, please take a seat either across the couch or in another loveseat.” 

elena almost turned her head to look at eliza, but she resisted the urge and took a seat diagonal from eliza and zofia. she made herself comfortable in the seat, watching as eliza’s gaze turned violent. “why did you make her move?” eliza questioned, voice gruff and upset as zofia tapped her pen against the board. 

“well, first of all. i didn’t make her. i asked if we could try something. i’ve never forced your wife to do anything,” zofia responded calmly. 

“never forced her? what do you mean? she’s been here before?” eliza spoke as elena nodded her head. 

“i started seeing zofia a few weeks ago for therapy after training,” elena told her. 

“you didn’t tell me,” eliza noted, earning a sigh in return from her wife. 

“as if we’ve been talking consistently eliza? we haven’t spoken in weeks. i don’t get the chance to call you and tell you what’s going on.” 

“but this is different, this is-“ 

“sorry, eliza. if you don’t mind me cutting in. why is that different? are you to say starting to see a therapist is different than other life things you would discuss with your wife?” zofia asked, causing eliza’s brow to furrow. 

“wait, how did we even get here in the first place. i asked why she moved, not to talk about calling when i’m on missions,” eliza realized and zofia quickly knew the female was shutting down the conversation about their communication problems. 

“i separated you two because i can see that you find it hard to be vulnerable. what we don’t want to happen is when you come for sessions, you start to become more open, but only because you can be next to your wife. we want you to have the ability to be open without elena around. so that you can connect with others,” zofia explained as eliza rolled her eyes. 

“that’s the most ridiculous thing i’ve heard.” 

“you only want to be vulnerable when elena is standing right next to you?” 

“well.....no but.....” eliza couldn’t even finish her words, having no response to the question. 

“you like to dispute everything i say. i’m not the enemy eliza. i’m here to help things get better,” zofia spoke as eliza rolled her eyes once more. “why did you do that? do you not believe me?” 

“i think this is a lot of mumbo jumbo,” eliza told her. “i think a relationship’s matter is between two spouses, not two spouses and an outside party. who are you to tell me how to act and reveal things?” 

“eliza, you can’t just apply western ideals and expect to see progress. look where your thought process of ‘i don’t need to talk to my wife about how i feel, i’m just going to let it ruin our marriage’ got us? because it was nowhere good eliza!” elena spoke up, the redhead staring at her wife. she sank back in the couch and zofia wrote down what she saw from the couple. 

“you know, personally my husband thought the same eliza, but after a lot of talking out our feelings, he realized this can help a lot. being open with a mediator can do wonders for a failing marriage,” zofia talked, eliza still watching elena. 

“aren’t you in an open marriage?” eliza asked, gaze still on her own wife who was looking back at her. 

“i-“ zofia was a bit taken aback, swallowing and clearing her throat as eliza smirked. elena tried not to let it affect her, but her chest jiggled slightly as she suppressed a laugh. “you know what eliza, yes. we are in an open marriage, because that is what we needed. we both agreed to it and feel comfortable with it. but only clear communication could get us to that point.” 

“i’d never wanna do that,” eliza noted, gaze slipping all over elena’s body. “i wouldn’t wanna share elena with anybody.” 

zofia nearly gagged at the sight of the two women seeming to mentally undress each other, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “you know, part of being open and honest is making eye contact with the person you’re speaking t-“ 

“i would never want somebody the way i want you. i’d never let another woman lay a finger on you,” eliza spoke confidently, making elena’s cheeks turn pink as they continued to stare at each other. 

“eliza- that was not what i meant. i was referring back to when you first talked. okay? let’s stay on topic-“ zofia fell silent as the couple did their little actions. eliza, grabbing her thigh, veins flexing as she squeezed, obviously doing something to elena with the way the spaniard crossed her legs. “OKAY WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TWO FUCKED?” zofia bursted out, slamming her clipboard down against her thigh, looking between the two rapidly. 

the couple was dead silent, their line of sight breaking as they looked at zofia. “what? what does that have to do with anything?” elena questioned, brows knitting in confusion. 

“i am trying to use our time wisely while you two are just having mental sex or something and i don’t understand why you can’t just pay attention!” 

“three months,” eliza blatantly said, gaze growing cold when she looked at zofia. the polish woman looked taken aback, genuinely surprised. 

“three months?” the female repeated, writing down the number. “i assume that’s when the problems started arising. let’s discuss that. what happened three months ago?” 

“i- i can answer that,” elena spoke, no longer looking at eliza as she felt the pressure begin to build. “it was when eliza had came back from italy. maría was about a year old. there were some financial concerns. i...i wanted to leave and go back to spain. eliza didn’t. that night, we yelled and screamed at each other. we went to bed separated, and eliza left the very next day. when she came back from another mission, we didn’t argue, but it was the same thing. we didn’t touch during the night, and we began to touch less in general. it got to the point she’d barely kiss my cheek, and she wouldn’t even hug me,” elena explained, the pain beginning to become more evident in her voice. zofia passed the box of tissues and elena grabbed one, pressing it to her eyes. “i’m sorry, i just. that was one of the hardest times in my life,” elena noted as eliza suddenly felt horrible. “i thought you didn’t love me anymore. i thought you didn’t want me because of my body or something,” elena added, causing eliza’s gut to clench in anger. she had no idea her wife felt that way. 

“eliza, how do you feel about hearing that?” zofia asked as elena turned away, not having the courage to look at her wife. 

“i had no idea elena,” eliza spoke softly, the first time she had sounded so calm and genuine that whole day. “i...i just thought that our honeymoon period was over. i always heard people talking about it. you just don’t act as lovey dovey with your spouse after awhile. i thought maybe that was the point we stopped cuddling in bed, that we just weren’t as intimate,” eliza explained her side as she rubbed the back of her neck, realizing how dumb that sounded out loud. 

“and it didn’t seem strange when you stopped having sex?” zofia chimed in. surprisingly, eliza stayed calm, shrugging slightly. “let’s talk about what happened there. i know this is a very personal subject, but it can have a lot of impact on a relationship.” 

“we used to...do it...every single day before maría,” elena answered, gaze slowly turning to see eliza again. she felt soothed as well as sad when she saw how her wife looked at her, as if she had her heart shattered. she hated that she did that to eliza. 

“and it’s of course normal to stop after having a child,” zofia added. 

“yes, we followed what the doctor said. we were careful- eliza was very careful,” elena rephrased as her lips pulled up slightly, remembering how gently eliza handled her. “it was um, it was hard after maría, finding the time to be intimate, but we did. when the fight happened, we didn’t touch, and we didn’t have sex after that. i think eliza would ask once in awhile, and i- i would make an excuse,” elena admitted, causing eliza to frown even more. 

“you mean you weren’t telling the truth?” eliza asked. 

“yes. i’m sorry eliza, i shouldn’t have done that. i just felt so gross and fat and i didn’t think you would want to see me naked and-“

“hey, no. it’s okay. it’s okay amorcita,” eliza stopped her, holding up her hands. “i understand where you’re coming from.” 

zofia was genuinely surprised with how eliza handled elena so much differently. the other operators spoke of how she was only soft and gentle with the spaniard, and that was apparent. she was a whole different person in that moment. “elena, sometimes we allow our perpetuated self esteem issues to transfer to others. you might feel bad about yourself, and automatically assume your partner feels the same,” zofia spoke. 

“i can assure you i never did, elena. i’ve never had a change of heart because of your body. i was always just as attracted to you then, as i was before. i promise,” eliza admitted, making the brunette’s cheeks warm. she shouldn’t have assumed how eliza would feel, and she knew it was wrong to let it get the best of her. 

“and that is what i’m looking for eliza, the understanding, the compassion for your partner,” zofia spoke with a small smile, looking at the two. “we are far from done, but this was an excellent start. thank you for coming in eliza, really. i am excited to see you guys grow.” 

zofia stood up, smiling at the two as they rose. it wasn’t a surprise to see eliza immediately move closer to elena, hands slipping together as zofia began to walk to the door. “i’ll see you two next week at the same time, alright?” zofia told them. 

“sounds good,” elena noted, looking up at eliza. 

“yes, thank you zofia. we’ll be here,” eliza added as the couple exited the room and made their way to the front door of zofia’s home outside of her office. they walked outside into the nice daylight and waved goodbye, to which zofia nodded and smiled. she turned around to shut the door behind her, stopping for a moment. she looked over her shoulder, gaze to the ground. 

“and for the love of poland, have sex already.” 

—-——-

it was a few days after their first therapy session when it occurred. eliza had expected elena to be all over her when they went home that day, but instead she started making dinner. it had been a long time since she had some of elena’s home cooked food, and from what she heard, her wife rarely did it anymore. she was glad to see it, and she helped her that evening. 

still, nothing happened, which was fine for eliza. she didn’t want to pressure her wife, but she didn’t expect to wake up in the middle of the night with a weight upon her waist after a few days. they still hadn’t touched as much, although the previous night eliza had slid between elena’s legs and pressed her face into her wife’s chest. that, elena didn’t deny, and she ran her hands through eliza’s long braid, undoing it just like she used to. she was more than comfortable with it. 

but this felt different. she woke up with hips pressed down on hers, and an elena in pajamas that were certainly not what she remembered. 

eliza’s green eyes stared at her lover, barely able to with the help of a night light across their bedroom. “e-elena?” eliza asked slowly as she contained the urge to buck her hips slightly. 

elena wore a complete green lingerie set, leaving little to the imagination. the patterns were floral, the material silk, stretched across her lover’s curved body. whatever fragrance she had put on, it was more than enticing and eliza took elena’s wrist, pressing it to her nose. a bit of spice, something sweet. it smelt familiar, like home. “what is this?” eliza asked quietly. 

“what i always put on,” elena replied softly with a raised brow. “the perfume from toledo,” she added as eliza suddenly sat up. she held the nape of elena’s neck, realizing just how long it had been since she basked in her lover’s scent. she had forgotten about the comfort it brought her. “i put maría in her own room in her crib,” elena muttered as she leaned her face down, pressing her lips to eliza’s ear. “the baby monitor is right there, she’ll be fine. right now, it’s time for you and i,” elena whispered as she grabbed at the hem of eliza’s tank top. the redhead turned her head into the crook of elena’s neck, kissing softly but the spaniard was having none of it. she shoved eliza down, almost frightening the woman as she stared at her wife. she swallowed roughly, watching as elena shook her head no. “you...you don’t get to make the choices here,” elena whispered as she pulled eliza’s tank top off. she dragged her nails down her wife’s biceps, holding on as she gazed into her eyes. 

elena began to roll her hips, and eliza struggled to not take over. she wasn’t used to being controlled, although there had been a few times when her wife did dominate her. it seemed, this was one of those moments. she was enticed by the movements, watching the way her wife moved up and down, as if she was sliding down on something hard and long and- 

eliza stared blankly, trying not to blush, trying not to freak out. she felt like a teenager again, screwing around with a girl for the first time. it couldn’t have been this long. three months? for her to forget how to seduce her wife? she felt giddy and excited inside, but also nervous at the same time. 

elena must’ve realized because she slid off from her position, standing up. she grabbed eliza’s hands and pulled the female off the bed. she was tired, moving slowly enough that elena nearly pinched her in the ass to get moving. “sit down,” she whispered, taking the obvious lead as she nodded to the seat in the middle of the room. 

“when did you put this here- did you get up in the middle of the night?” eliza asked, confused as to why there were things set up now that she could see better. she glanced across the room, seeing their reflection in the mirror as she took a seat, the sight enough to make her want to cross her legs. elena looked so beautiful. eliza caught a glimpse of toys on the dresser before elena grabbed her jaw, forcing the female to look at her. “you want me to use those on you?” eliza questioned, smirk forming as she gained her confidence back. 

“oh no baby, quite the opposite,” elena responded, causing the female’s eyes to widen. she cleared her throat, shaking her head. 

“you’re gonna- use them, on me?” eliza asked as the brunette moved to the turntable, pressing the needle down gently as music began to play. 

“eliza, relax. why don’t you just enjoy what’s about to happen,” elena spoke as she began to return to her wife, hips swaying side to side. she moved to the music, eliza’s eyes wide as she watched her wife dance. “and if you must know,” elena gasped as she turned around, moving her bottom in eliza’s lap, the redhead grabbing at the brunette’s hips. “yes,” she murmured, grabbing eliza’s hands and pressing them down. 

she continued to dance, moving herself in enticing ways that were quickly getting to eliza. she could feel the pressure building, the need to be right there, touching her wife getting stronger and stronger. her heat was becoming slick with wetness, and all eliza could think about was their legs wrapped around each other’s, moving as they touched each other. 

when elena pressed her chest close, eliza’s eyes dropped to her bosom immediately, and she almost pressed her face full in an attempt to smother herself with the breasts she missed, but she contained the urge and let elena continued dancing. it was hot to say the least. watching her wife move her hips like that, grinding up against her. it was turning her on beyond belief, and eliza made a bold move. she grabbed elena, pulling her back into her lap before she began to kiss her shoulder and neck, already starting to leave love bites. 

elena pushed away from her, making the redhead glare as elena turned around. the brunette walked forward, grabbing eliza’s head. “you need to learn self control,” elena spoke, pressing her wife’s face closer to her stomach. she watched as the fbi agent puckered her lips, placing soft kisses on the skin that was exposed, eyes locked the entire time. “do you want me?” 

“i do.” 

“then beg for me.” eliza tried to match her wife’s expression, the passion, the desire, but she felt soft and weak. she wasn’t used to being treated like this, but god was it doing things to her. 

eliza lifted her hands, sliding them down elena’s thighs, grabbing the clasps of her garter belt. “elena,” eliza murmured, kissing her stomach still as she undid the lingerie piece and slid it down her legs. her wife lifted her leg, pressing it next to eliza’s face. the female turned her face, beginning to kiss the inside of her wife’s thigh. “let me have you, please. let me taste you,” eliza pleaded, voice becoming desperate as she reached forward, trying to grab elena’s panties. 

the spaniard pulled away once more, pressing her leg back down and turning around. she nodded towards the bed, smirking slightly. “take off your clothes and get on,” she told eliza, watching as the redhead slowly obeyed. she took her sweatpants off and her women’s boxers, feeling vulnerable in front of her lover. when was the last time they had seen each other naked? it felt like forever. “turn around and get on your knees,” elena spoke, leaning down close to her wife as she took the position. “you’re so cute when you’re like this,” elena whispered in her ear, pressing a light kiss to her wife’s cheek before she disappeared. 

eliza wasn’t sure what was to come, and she felt slightly nervous as her legs quivered. “elena-“ 

“por que estas tu .... so wet?” elena asked as she got onto the bed behind eliza, lightly rubbing her waist. 

“elena, please, i want to touch you,” eliza spoke. 

“no, i’m gonna make you cum, and if you’re good, then maybe you can touch me,” elena replied simply as she pushed the tip of the strap on through eliza’s wetness. 

“baby please, let me do it to you. i don’t need it.” 

“really? i don’t think you’re telling the truth. you are so wet that i don’t think you could bear it if i didn’t fuck you.” 

eliza’s ears turned red at her wife’s words, feeling elena stop moving the toy, resting it against her entrance. eliza bit her lip, knowing elena was right. she pushed herself back, letting the strap enter her and stretch her walls. she moaned quietly, the first gasp a strong one. of course she had touched herself when she was away, but this was different. “told you,” elena whispered as she held eliza’s hips and pushed the rest of the way in, beginning to thrust after that. 

it didn’t take long for the female to become a mess, moaning loudly as elena thrusted into her quicker. eliza’s top body collapsed into the bed, moans becoming muffled against the sheets as elena fucked her. she could feel the way she was being filled, so much more pleasurable than just a couple of fingers. elena didn’t seem to forget how to please her, and eliza really hoped she hadn’t either. 

her wife’s pace was ruthless, the bed hitting the wall as eliza cried out in pleasure, moaning elena’s name. “please, oh god elena. more, more. please mommy,” eliza moaned as she reached her hands back, feeling elena hold them behind her back with one hand. 

“buena amor, buena amor,” elena said through huffs as she thrusted into her, beginning to roll her hips more, making eliza sink down into the bed. 

“oh, fuck me, fuck, mommy,” she moaned, more mellowed out with the slower pace elena was taking. the spaniard’s cheeks admittedly turned red when she was called mommy, feeling it fill a certain heat between her legs. it was hot, and elena continued to roll her hips, letting the strap press against different parts of eliza. 

it didn’t take long for her to return to the straight thrusting, bringing eliza’s moans up once more into strains of her voice. “elena- i’m gonna cum, please don’t stop. please,” eliza cried out as elena pounded her, continuing until her wife screamed out in pleasure, orgasming around the object between her legs. 

elena smiled as she let go of her wife’s waist, watching as eliza came down from her high. she wiggled out of the harness, disappearing for a minute to go get a washcloth and wash the toy. when she returned, she found eliza sitting on the bed, facing her now. she was leaned back on her arms, gaze dark and controlling. “come here, now,” eliza spoke and elena did as told, climbing onto the bed. she slowly pressed the washcloth to her wife’s core, wiping away the excess wetness. “thank you,” eliza said, clearing her throat as elena threw the washcloth into the hamper. 

she could tell eliza was trying to be all tough and strong, but it wasn’t working out too well. “oh baby, you’re so adorable when you try to take control,” elena murmured as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to eliza’s cheek. “you don’t fool anybody.” 

“you’re so mean,” eliza mumbled as elena straddled her wife’s hips again. 

“am i? would i still be mean if i were to let you have what you want?” elena whispered as eliza raised an eyebrow. 

“what would that be?” she asked, watching as elena reached back and undid the clasp, letting her lacy bra come off. she tossed it to the side, watching as eliza’s gaze became wide. she stared at the brunette’s large breasts, mouth agape a bit. “nevermind,” she added hoarsely, immediately leaning forward and beginning to kiss the soft skin. eliza trailed her lips all over until they had surrounded a perky nipple. 

without thinking, eliza sucked like normal, not at all expecting to taste milk in her mouth. her lips unlatched immediately, pulling her head back as elena’s gaze widened. “oh my god, i’m so sorry. i completely forgot,” eliza apologized, feeling horrible about it. she wasn’t sure if it caused pain or discomfort for her wife, but she surely didn’t want to inflect that. 

elena was just shocked, looking at eliza as she shook her head. “i-,” she didn’t know what to say, eliza slowly moving around. she slipped under the blankets, pulling elena with her under them too. she laid on her side, looking at elena apologetically. 

“is this okay?” she asked softly, and elena nodded her head, watching as her wife began to kiss all around her chest once more. she was delicate, returning back to her neck before moving down once more. 

she worshipped the skin in front of her like it was a holy grail, moving her lips all over her wife’s breasts and collar. she left love bites where she could, watching as tan skin became purple and red with marks she left with her mouth. 

elena grabbed her head at one point, looking down at her curiously. “you didn’t seem to mind that,” she noted as eliza blushed. she looked up at her with a guilty gaze. 

“i don’t know what you mean. i’ve always like touching your breasts.....and sucking on them...there just wasn’t milk before,” eliza defended herself, feeling embarrassed about what happened. 

“it doesn’t bother you? the taste? the feeling?” elena asked as she watched eliza look away. 

“no, it doesn’t,” she murmured back, making elena blush slightly. “it’s not weird...right?” 

“i’m okay with it, and so are you, and i don’t plan on telling anyone else, so no. it’s not weird,” elena responded simply, smiling at eliza. “now, are you tired or not?” 

“no, of course not,” eliza answered her question, immediately going back to kissing her breasts and neck. “i still want you in my mouth,” eliza spoke as she leaned back on the bed, hands grabbing at elena’s ass. “come on.” 

elena blushed as she looked down at her wife, nodding her head. she slipped off her panties and began to move up eliza’s body, letting out a small squeal when eliza grabbed her hips and planted her firmly on her face. elena’s eyes rolled back at the sensation, feeling eliza’s nose press against her clit, mouth warm and wet as it found her entrance. she almost pressed away, remembering what it felt like to have eliza’s face between her thighs. she didn’t want to suffocate her after all. 

elena lifted herself up, pressing her hands to eliza’s hair. her wife’s mouth had already been smeared with a considerable amount of wetness, making elena blush even more as she wiped the redhead’s nose. “are you okay? i don’t want you to not be able to breathe,” elena stated as eliza rolled her eyes. 

“just come here mama,” eliza whispered and pulled elena down once more. the spaniard’s eyes fluttered closed as eliza began to suck on her clit, moving her tongue in different directions against her wife’s heat. 

“eliza, oh...eliza,” elena moaned as she tightened her grip in eliza’s hair, nodding her head. “baby,” she cried out as eliza began to move her tongue quickly against her lover’s clit. she had no idea how her wife could breathe but she wasn’t going to crawl away now, knowing eliza would not like that. 

elena began to move back and forth slightly, rocking on eliza’s face as she moaned loudly. her wife knew exactly what she was doing, and elena was convinced it was like they had never stopped. she felt good, just like elena remembered. 

with the way she was moving her mouth, it didn’t take long for elena to feel the tension in her gut building. her cries of her wife’s name became louder and louder, bucking her hips against eliza’s mouth. “baby i’m gonna cum, eliza,” elena moaned, coming undone on top of her wife. her movements slowly began to stop, feeling eliza run her tongue over anywhere she could. 

when she slid off her face, she blushed, leaning down and beginning to wipe off the wetness she had left with her hand. when eliza grabbed her hand, she bit her lip, watching as eliza pressed her wife’s fingers in her mouth. she sucked each one clean, and the sight would’ve made elena’s knees buckle if it wasn’t for the fact she was leaned down. 

“you are too hot,” elena grumbled, shaking her head as she leaned down and pressed her lips to eliza’s. she held her face, kissing softly as eliza pulled elena down all the way to lay with her. their bodies wrapped up, legs intertwining, arms circling each other. when they pulled away, elena buried her face in eliza’s neck, holding onto her tightly. 

the female grabbed their sheets and covers, pulling them over the brunette as she kissed her forehead. it took a moment to realize she could feel wetness against her neck and she pulled back, looking to elena. “are you crying? what’s wrong? baby are you okay?” eliza questioned as she lifted her hands and held elena’s face. 

“i just missed you so much. i didn’t realize how much it’s been killing me to be without you, to be so cold and distant from you,” elena cried as eliza held her close, rubbing her wife’s back. “i love you so much eliza.” 

“hey, it’s okay. i’m here now, i’m here amor,” eliza whispered as she held her, waiting for elena to calm down. when she could finally breathe once more, her lover let out a small breath. “i am so sorry for leaving you for so long. i’m so sorry for how i’ve treated you. i-i got so angry about meghan because i felt like i failed. i should’ve been the one holding you, even if it wasn’t romantic. it should’ve been me here to care for you. i let you down elena,” eliza spoke, feeling tears form in her eyes. she refused to let them run free as she held her wife, feeling elena hold on even tighter. “i’m going in tomorrow to speak with Six. i’m going to tell them i need a grounded position. no more leaving you for such long times. okay? no more.” 

elena nodded, cuddling into her wife, feeling more safe than ever. “i love you elena maría,” eliza told her softly. 

“i love you too eliza,” she responded, laying in silence together after that. 

they fell asleep not too longer after that, getting the best sleep either of them had for the past months. it was fair to say they were doing better, if not great. 

but that didn’t mean there weren’t other problems that still needed to be worked through.


End file.
